I maintain my first comment that you have a beautiful mind. I'd suggest you dress it up with a knowledge of poetic forms which will launch you to higher forms of expressions. Study them all: syntax, rhetorics, trope, stanzas and rhyme, and the clic as well as modern free-verse. Then after you've caught rhythm using any form, you might wanna diverse a bit more. As Peter said, rhythm is the key to heaven. There are people here who are watching you Gabe.
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